12.28.20 — Stephen Dyer Interview Reflection

Interview with Stephen Dyer — Managing Partner, Vaco

How was your time at A&M? What opportunities/experiences came about that were transformative for you? How did you maximize your time there?

Stephen graduated from Texas A&M University in 2006 with a degree in Finance and minor in English. He explained to me that when he looked back on his time in College Station, it was easiest to explain his experience through three different lenses: spiritual life, social life and education.

Spiritually, Stephen told me that he was “not on fire” going into college. He had been on the fence until his sophomore year when he had a rather harsh wakeup call. From that point on, he grew in his maturity until he was leading a bible study his senior year of college. After accepting his first job at Alvarez & Marsal, he was given the freedom to travel to Zambia on a mission trip. He told me that this experience radically shook his view on faith. It was an overwhelming experience, to see the casting out of demons and miracles done in this country without ever having seen it in his own. He truly realized the mysticism of God and concluded that there was no possible way for a church to even begin to comprehend the majesty and wonders of our Lord.

In terms of his social life, Stephen was a popular guy. If there was a prestigious organization on campus, he was a part of it. He was a member of Fish Aides, Aggie Men’s Club, Student Government, Business Fellows and many other programs. He had every impressive involvement that one could possibly want on their resume, yet there was still a note of regret in his voice as he reflected on his years as an Aggie. Stephen told me that he always had trouble saying “no” to opportunities, as well as discerning whether or not he was pursuing a goal because he wanted to do it or not. This led to him stretching himself so thin that he walked out of college lacking the deep, lifelong friendships that many of his peers had. “Out of A&M, I had no deep relationships but a great resume,” he said. It was something that he had regretted. To me, he recommended that I don’t get overly involved, but pick something I’m good at and move up/ improve it over years.

Educationally speaking, Stephen graduated with a degree in finance. He said that it’s a great place to get a high paying job and a good starting platform in your professional career. If I didn’t have a clue about what I wanted to do vocationally, he told me that investment banking was the best place to be since it serves as an excellent “launching pad” into any other career. The best advice Stephen had ever received about his education was from his advisor, who said, “college is a 1-time experience. If you’re interested in something, do it now!” That’s why he sought out a minor in English, this was something he deeply appreciated that also made him more well-rounded.

How have you learned to discern the will of God in your life?

One of the more interesting parts of our conversation was when Stephen would address “the whisper,” which was what he called God’s calling on his life. His biggest regret in life was not pursuing the whisper. He was scared to pursue what he wanted to do because of what others would think of him. “I operated within the bounds of other’s opinions and expectations for me,” Stephen said with a reminiscent look in his eye. What multiplied the uncertainty in his life was how he couldn’t ask for the help of others in his pride. He attributed much of the damage in his life as being “self-inflicted”. He was afraid that if he “hopped out of the train,” he couldn’t hop back on (which is a true statement in many regards).

I have to take a pause here. As Stephen shared these struggles and thoughts that consumed him, I couldn’t help but feel as if I was staring at a mirror. Acting in a way that he thinks others will approve of? Allowing a prideful heart to keep him from leaning on others? Fearing the cost of taking a step back? Self-inflicted damage? This was me that I was listening to. Stephen had ignored the whisper in his head and it took him years to recover from the aftermath. I’m grateful that hindsight is 20/20, and that I had the opportunity to receive some foresight into a future where I could potentially go down this path. While things ended up OK for Stephen, he did tell me that he went through a season of anger towards the Lord, depression and exhaustion.

As Stephen started to listen and respond to the whisper, his life became exponentially more complicated. He had anything BUT a predictable path because he submitted to where the Lord led him. “Take an adventure with God, Gray,” he told me. After years of trying to discern what God was asking of him, Stephen concluded that he always knew God’s direction for his life because there was peace (not necessarily comfort or a lack of conflict) in it.

How did you get into sales, what makes a good salesman, and why have you found so much success in it?

Stephen was first introduced to sales at his first job as a consultant with Alvarez & Marsal. The funny thing is that he actually hated sales because he didn’t want people to think that his relationship was just for monetary gain. But his boss told him that the people that are the most successful can sell. So, Stephen’s ‘strategy’, if you will, was to let people know what he was talented at so they knew he could help them, then he wanted to simply catch up with them. As he progressed further into sales, he realized that most business people don’t want friendships, but they do want help. Something else that set Stephen apart from the pack was his honesty and humility. He was unafraid to admit when he didn’t have the ability to serve a person in a particular way and was willing to direct clients to someone who could help (i.e., my Dad).

Stephen had several things to say about what constituted a good salesman. They find out what’s important to people and they cater to that interest. For example, politicians crave power, so if you are selling them something, sell the point that your product/service will elevate their name. Great salesmen also don’t just pursue the “greener grass” … they dig deep where God has planted them. When Stephen began to feel peace where God planted him, he dug deep and worked hard. In his own words, success is produced when you “work the field AND pray for rain.” God is ultimately the one to prosper us, it is not on ourselves to do that. But the daily grind and effort is necessary as well to yield a crop.

What should I be doing at A&M, with my summers, etc. now to produce fruit in the future?

• Explore what you’re interested in

• Spend time getting wisdom from strangers AND people who have known you your whole life

• Get in the practice of making goals to succeed at; pursue one at a time
• Broaden horizons; take every chance to experience something new

A personal note to Stephen:

Stephen, it was an absolute blessing to get to meet with you. I greatly appreciate your wisdom that you freely offered, your vulnerability that came so naturally, and your time that I know is incredibly precious. However much I valued the knowledge I gained from my reflection above, I so much more appreciated the time I spent at dinner with your family. That will remain as one of the most memorable experiences that I’ve had to date: how a God-fearing man and woman interact in their marriage while raising their children. Dinner was delicious. Kids were adorable. I’m excited for my newfound pen pal, Jack. I’ll always laugh when I remember you attempting to scoop ice cream into your mouth over little Ellie and Liam, who were on your lap. God bless you and your family! I can never thank you enough for this special day.